For the last thirty years, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been a proverbial gold mine for whoever has owned the franchise rights. Currently, that’s Viacom and Nickelodeon. Usually, whoever is in charge has done a great job of promoting the franchise and licensing the characters for cool merchandise that fans young and old want to get their hands on. But not every piece of merch has been a great success, and some have just been downright weird. Here’s the best the Internet had to offer for strange TMNT products you can buy. (NB: Most of the weird stuff is put up by individual sellers, and the company holding the rights is not at all endorsing the sale. Also, let’s be real: Most fans from the ‘80s and ‘90s probably owned all of these things, and would likely buy them all again.)
If you loved playing the TMNT arcade game back in the day, and couldn’t wait to show your friends how much Foot Clan butt you could kick with Donatello’s long reach, then you’re going to want to pick up the original flier brochure for the game? eBay currently has listings for the flier about the arcade game. Not the game itself, but the informational brochure that came with it. Score your copy for as low as $20.
Perhaps instead you want your taste buds tickled by one of those flavorful TMNT tie-ins that brought awesome food like the ooze pudding pies to lunchboxes everywhere? If you’re looking for a treat, you can still find sellers looking to get rid of unopened boxes of Royal Ooze gelatin dessert, circa 1992! Still mint-in-box and ready to be made, there are orange, strawberry, and lime flavors available, selling from anywhere between $12 and $20. (We make no guarantees about how safe it would be to eat something like that, so buy and consume at your own risk.)
Though not available for sale anymore, 1990 gave kids an unexpected treat for role-playing as a ninja turtle. Michelangelo’s Sewer Exploration Belt gave kids “the turtle’s sewer scout utility belt” so they could pretend to help clean the Foot right out of the sewers. With a compass, Foot Clan foot trap, tongs, and a vial of retro-mutagen, this crime-fighting accessory was the best way to get involved with all the action the turtles encountered without having to actually mutate and become a turtle yourself.
Finally, there’s certainly a lot of monetary, sentimental, and collectible value from old TMNT comics, especially if you can find them in mint or near-mint condition. However, the same can’t necessarily be said about the ads that were in comic books. But that won’t stop them from being put up for sale online! For about $6 it’s easy enough to find someone who has a near-mint advertisement for TMNT games from the early ‘90s. He or she may not be able to get you any of the games themselves, but at the very least you’ll be able to remember that the games existed, and that if you’re old enough you probably ran across those exact ads somewhere in your own favorite comic book 20 years ago.
The Internet is riddled with collectibles and long-lost items up for sale. Being able to connect to people from around the world makes finding merchandise as simple as a few mouse clicks. But that doesn’t mean that everything should be for sale, or that everything should be bought. There is some strange merch for sale in the depths of the Internet, but there’s no doubt someone in the market who will snap them up without a second thought. If that person is you, then good luck and happy hunting; go find your favorite pieces of nostalgia. Also, letus know on Facebook or in the comments about the weirdest piece of TMNT merchandise you’ve ever encountered or purchased. You never know if a fellow shellhead will be grateful that you did!
