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Cowabunga Christmas Comics!

by Chris M. P.
written by Chris M. P.

To many the holidays could bring a lot of stress due to the hectic hussle-bussle of Christmas shopping, family get togethers, or just the general onset “scrooge-ness” attitude. But there can be a relaxing side to the season such as curling up in front of a warm fire, listening to some gentle holiday music, and watching the silent snowfall outside your window. This all sounds well and good but, if you’re like me, you’re wondering how can the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles be inserted into this? 

Well, my brothers and sisters, if you rely on your Turtle Power anything can be accomplished. And in the realm of TMNT comic books, I managed to dig and find some retro stories that involve our favorite Heroes in a Halfshell and the Christmas holiday. So sip some eggnog and hang up your stockings with care within your precious sewer lair as I present you with four Ninja Turtle Christmas tales that’s guaranteed to get you in the truly tubular holiday mood. 

Ladies Home Journal “Twas the Fight Before Christmas” December 1990.

This is a short n’sweet four page comic found in Ladies Home Journal of all things. I couldn’t tell you if having comic *ahem* much more a Ninja Turtles comic in this magazine was something normal. But coming across it felt downright bizarre. A couple of thugs steal a little girls Christmas gifts so the Ninja Turtles decide to go beat the ever loving hell out of them. They find out these crooks have a stockpile of stolen toys, so the Turtles end the adventure by dressing up as Santa and handing out the toys to all the children.  

The standout of this comic is Michaelangelo explaining his “Special Christmas Pizza” which consists of sausage, mushroom, turkey, ham, yams, sugarplums, and plenty of cheese. Even in the simplest of forms, the TMNT always make sure to bestow you with at least some killer pizza ingredients. If anybody wants to make that pizza this Christmas season, I’d seriously crown you TMNT-King/Queen. I’d like to thank GoGreenMachine.org for sharing this awesome tidbit of TMNT comic culture with the world. 

TMNT Magazine “Twas the Night Before Christmas” Winter 1993.

This short tale stems from the Welsh TMNT Magazine and involves BeBop and Rocksteady pulling a “Home Alone 2” by robbing street Santas of their charity cash. How low! Making their escape on a rooftop they come across the real Santa Claus as the TMNT arrive and proceed to pummel the heck out of their gross mutant faces. 

Santa thanks the Turtles by giving them gifts as well as gifting Bebop and Rocksteady. This makes the Turtles a bit miffed but Santa explains that the holiday season isn’t just about being naughty and nice, but about forgiveness and compassion. Bebop and Rocksteady apologize to the Toitles as Santa flies into the night. 

This simple 6 page comic is pretty to look at (TMNT Adventure’s Brian Thomas helms it) as it packs a lot of personality, color, and pizazz but I find the lesson to be a little muddled. Bebop and Rocksteady steal from charities on friggen Christmas. I understand forgiveness and compassion, but maybe they shouldn’t really be given gifts and instead some community service and jail time. 

But, then again, perhaps New York’s legal system doesn’t have anything in place regarding large mutated warthogs and rhinos. That would explain a lot about the TMNT universe actually. 

Thanks to the always amazing TMNTEntity.Blogspot.com for being an amazing resource.

Tales of the TMNT Vol. 2 Issue 40 November 2007

Out of the previously mentioned comics, I’d probably recommend this one first and foremost. With story by Murphy, Diego Jourdan, and Martin Casanova (Bossanova? Chevy Nova?) as well as art by Diego Jourdan this issue of Tales of the TMNT shows you how powerful and minimalist the comic medium can truly be. With very little dialogue the story is told almost solely by its visuals, and Jourdan’s art echoes the original black and white grittiness of the Mirage run, yet with a more Manga style. 

The story takes place on Christmas day in Tokyo 2060. Raphael finds an abandoned baby and comes across ladies of the night, mutants, and robotic foot soldiers who all seem to be after the child. The payoff is interesting as the story doesn’t need much buildup or insight. It’s sort of a one shot “elseworlds” tale and does enough to make it an interesting one.I love the look of Raph in this issue: Leather jacket, eye patch, and using the katanas of Leonardo (which makes you wonder if his brother met his demise previously). 

It’s a bleak and interesting issue that any Turtle fan should pick up (especially if you love Raphael). It’s nowhere as “fluffy” or “Christmas-y” as the comics I previously mentioned but it gets the point across just fine and is probably the one that will stick with you the most. 

That is if you’re still not wondering why the Ninja Turtles are featured in Ladies Home Journal. 

IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #65 November 2016

We now go from bleak and gritty to bright and cheery with this fantastic IDW issue. Written by Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow, and Tom Waltz accompanied by Mateus Santolouco’s always beautiful artwork, this is TMNT silliness and fun at its best. Michelangelo decides to throw a Christmas par-tay and everyone is invited (whether the brothers like it or not). Not only is it a sharp and beautiful issue with a lot of visual gags (I love that Mikey has “The Great Pumpkin” on at his Christmas party) but the writing of inane party chatter between characters makes this issue gold. Whether it’s Mondo Gecko just zoning out at the star on top of the tree or Pigeon Pete rocking to the “12 Days of Christmas”, the writing really nails the vibe of a mutant Christmas party. We don’t always see our Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles simply being teenagers, and what I really love about this issue there’s no high stakes or heated battles…it’s just a couple of mutant teens putting together a party for their buds.

You can also read this issue on it’s own without any need to know the current story arc either. So if you want some light turtle-reading to get your head in the holidays you have that option with issue 65. It also has Pepperoni eating pepperoni and this Donatello face:

With the Ninja Turtles being such icons in popular culture for decades now, it’s no surprise that even the Christmas season plays a role in their comic book adventures. And, of course, Christmas expands beyond just their comics…the 2003 animated series adapted the Mirage story “The Christmas Aliens”. And, if you’re simply a glutton for punishment, you can always check out 1994’s direct-to-video We Wish You a Turtle Christmas online. It ain’t pretty, but as a TMNT diehard it’s just something you have to endure. The 2012 Nickelodeon show also released some Christmas themed storybooks called The Santa Snatcher and Merry Mutants! for the younger Turtle fans. 
 
So I hope you enjoyed reading about some of our Ninja Turtles’ Christmas adventures. Perhaps you’ll dig these out and give them another read on a brisk winter’s night. Or maybe even add these titles to your letter to Santa. Either way, there’s always time for Turtles this holiday season! Merry Christmas dudes and dudettes! And have a radical New Year!

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Comic BooksReviews

Comic Review: Shredder in Hell #3

by Chris M. P.
written by Chris M. P.

Shredder in Hell #3

Art and Story by Mateus Santolouco

Released May 15th, 2019

The Shredder’s long road through the depths of hell reaches a fever pitch as he is forced to face echoes of his own soul! With lives on the line, who will survive the raging inferno?

After a hellish roller coaster that was Shredder in Hell #2, issue 3 slows things down (only a little though) to delve into the depths of Oroku Saki’s tormented soul. We’re more than halfway through this miniseries (issue 3 of 5) therefore we’re given some interesting and emotional progression within the Shredder’s wickedly insightful journey. If you’ve read my previous reviews, it should be clear that Santolouco is knocking this series out of the park in every conceivable way.

From an artistic standpoint, Santolouco continues being one of the best artists to work on a TMNT series as well as one of the finest artists in the current comic medium. With great perspective, colors, and linework in every single panel Shredder in Hell visually keeps you glued to what is happening with it’s swift yet graceful pace. Which is why the writing still needs to be praised.

We’re given some great story progression in the form of The Dragon, lost love, and a giant angry spaghetti monster. The Shredder has never been as relatable as he is here (for me anyway). You may disagree if you wear can openers everyday while whining at the rhinos at your local zoo, but throughout this series you’re truly rooting for this man even though you’re aware of all the distasteful evil he’s done.  

Which I guess is the point of this entire series: Retribution. And I truly look forward to what Shredder in Hell brings in its final two issues. If you’ve read the previous issues, there’s no doubt you’ll be reading this one. And if you’re not…and I mean this in the best way possible…let’s go to hell together.

Shredder in Hell Issue 3 is available wherever comics are sold!

 

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1986: That Time Turtles Taught Karate

by Chris M. P.
written by Chris M. P.

Unfortunately we cannot be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Can we be teenagers? Definitely. Can we be mutants? Arguably. Turtles? I mean, spiritually. Ninjas? You bet your sweet bippy we can be ninjas. And who better to teach us than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themselves?!

Well probably Master Splinter.

But in 1986 Solson Publications took it upon themselves to release several “Authorized Training Manuals” starring the Ninja Turtles. And for a mere $2.25 you could pick up an issue and learn the art of the Ninja yourself.  Solson Publications was a New York run comic publisher in the 1980s. They’re mostly known for publishing a lot of “How To Draw” guide books, a Three Stooges comic, and a series about a buff machine gun toting Ronald Reagan called Reagan’s Raiders. You know, the good stuff.

I stumbled upon these TMNT “Authorized Manuals” about a decade back for a dollar each in a used bookstore. The issues met my criteria for the need to consume everything TMNT as well as the possible serious career path of becoming a ninja. Today I’m going to be exploring the Authorized Martial Arts Training Manual as well as the Authorized Karate Training Manual. I love finding any type of TMNT merchandise or media prior to the 1987 Fred Wolf cartoon series, so let’s delve deep together into these turtley treasures and see what goodness we can find.

Here we have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Authorized Training Manual Vol. One. from 1986. Artwork is done by Solson regulars Jason Rodgers and Rich Buckler. It’s interesting seeing the Turtles drawn by artists other than Eastman and Laird especially so early in their lifecycle. This particular issue introduces all four brothers with some insight on their weapons. You then are able to learn some stances and attacks based on a series of step by step illustrations. You won’t be a ninja master by the end of this issue, unfortunately, but it’s a charming experience flipping through it.

I especially enjoy the illustrated weapon diagrams. Though these issues are brief and shallow, you can easily find much better resources in the learning martial arts but, honestly, what do you expect? If I were a nerdy edgy teen in 1986 and was focused on making myself a living weapon, I’d probably be more inclined to purchase these comics instead of heading to the dojo between the dry cleaners and White Hen. Afterall, when you take out a group of goons and the damsel babe you saved asks you, “Where did you learn that?” would you rather answer “Sensei Darrell“ or the “Ninja freakin’ Turtles”?

This training manual series ran for six issues. The sixth issue (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Authorized Training Manual No. 6 Vol. One.) was an expansion on the Martial Arts techniques learned in issue one. It’s pretty similar in execution except artwork is done not only by Jason Rodgers but Don Secrease, Paul Daly, and Bill Koch. The art is a little sketchier and grittier (which obviously works for this iteration of the TMNT) and Master Splinter is added to give more insight to the new illustrated techniques. I’d say the art definitely feels more Eastman and Laird and the turtles themselves just look meaner. I’d say to use this issue if your local goons decide to step up their antics with chains and flamboyant mohawks.

If you thought the Ninja Turtles were done teaching you martial arts in just six issues you’re wrong, buster. Because there’s a single issue in which they teach Karate. You can call Mr. Myagi and tell him to stick to those damn Bonsai trees because you’ve got Turtle Power now.  This issue, aesthetically, is much cleaner and better presented than all the other issues in the series. And as a self declared expert in karate (and by that I mean I’ve been in the same room as Ralph Macchio) I’d say this issue is pretty stellar. The illustrative steps are broader and more informative to where you can maybe do something completely unremarkable but at least show promise. There’s also an epic panel of pure focused turtle-crotch.

It’s a Kodak moment….

If you had to purchase one issue I would personally go with this one. It has the best artwork, instructions, and an ad for a comic series consisting of a group of female powerlifters that fight crime (It’s called Iron Maidens because of course that’s what it’s called). There’s been Ninja Turtle cookbooks and shaving sets so I’m not surprised there’s comics where they teach you their ninja ways. What makes this so unique is that it was crafted before the Playmates TMNT merch machine launched in 1987. The three issues covered today were not deep or very informative. And I’m not sure who exactly they were “authorized” by. And, at this point, the TMNT were too adult for kids yet too silly for adults therefore I’m not sure who the market was when producing these issues. But I’m glad they exist. They’re a wonderful time machine to right before our favorite mutant brothers were launched into teenage superstardom.

Going through the steps and taking these issues seriously might make you more of a Foot Soldier than a Ninja Turtle. But it doesn’t take away from the charm and nostalgia when flipping through the Turtles in their comic infancy. Today we covered the two Martial Arts manuals as well as a (Bonus) Karate manual. But I did mention there are six issues in their entirety. Each of those four issues are dedicated to a single turtle brother. And next time we’re going to cover the art of the sword, sai, bo, and nunchaku. So grab some Crunchabungas, stock up some mutagen, and make sure you’ve got a bottle of turtle wax because we’re about to go full ninja, dudes and dudettes.

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