In a surprise move, Paramount Pictures has combined forces with Roger Corman’s New Horizons production company to develop a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. This film will reportedly be almost entirely based upon an idea pitched by Corman’s New World Pictures in the 80’s. For those who aren’t aware, this was actually one of the first concepts pitched for a TMNT film. We’re still not sure what the plot will entail, but it’s safe to say that their choice of actors is a bit questionable at this stage in the game.
Originally, New World Pictures pitched a film that would feature Billy Crystal, Gallagher, Bobcat Goldthwait and the now deceased Sam Kinison as the four heroes in a half shell. Despite the fact that one of these actors passed away 25 years ago, Paramount has indicated that they want to stick with the original planned cast for this project. When asked about Sam Kinison’s role, one executive stated the following:
“We love Sam Kinison! He’s such a funny guy. We feel like his boisterous personality will be perfect for the role of Raphael. We’re currently in talks with his estate and are confident that we can work something out.”
It could be worse, right? This would be way worse, right? Image Source: Paramount Pictures, UCANTRUSTUS News.
Reporters felt that the decision was a little morbid and disturbing, but the head honchos at Paramount maintained that this was the best course of action. When asked why they felt it was a good idea to revive a rejected Roger Corman project, producers were adamant that they were just giving the fans what they wanted. This statement sounded curious to some in the crowd, and when pressed for more details, Jim Gianopulos provided additional information:
“Look, we tried something new with the Platinum Dunes movies produced by Michael Bay, but they just didn’t sell very well. The one thing we heard from the fans was that they wanted to see a movie that paid more respect to the original source material. We went back to the 80’s to look for inspiration and discovered this incredible project that had foolishly been rejected. We’ve gone back to the early days of the franchise in search of inspiration, and this is what we came up with. We’re confident that the fans will appreciate our attempt to bring life to a forgotten TMNT project.”
This is still worse, right? There’s no way they could make anything more terrible! Image Source: Golden Harvest, 2TRU4U News.
This statement was followed almost immediately by an audible group of reporters sighing in unison. When asked for plot details, the CEO brought up his unpaid temporary assistant to explain that the movie would basically be Power Rangers meets Tron, with half the film shot traditionally and the other half produced with CGI animation. Shortly after this description, most press got up and left the building.
Oh, and have a wonderful April Fools Day. 🙂