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Wrestlemania 34 if the Wrestlers were Ninja Turtles Characters

Wrestlemania is almost here!

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are no stranger to the WWE Universe. Not too long ago, these figures were released, putting the turtles dressed as wrestlers. I started thinking about the wrestlers and their TMNT character equivalent. Here are my predictions for Wrestlemania 34… if the wrestlers were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles characters.

 

Universal Championship — Brock Lesnar  w/ Paul Heyman vs. Roman Reigns = Android Body w/ Kraang vs Leatherhead

Images Copyright WWE and Viacom

Brock Lesnar has had an impressive title run, but we all know Paul Heyman has been the brains of the operation. It makes sense that their equal is Kraang in the Kraang suit. Paul Heyman pulls the strings, while Brock works as the muscle. Leatherhead is a really tough guy from down in Florida. He’s not a good guy, or a bad guy. Ugh…I can’t believe I just wrote that. Yeah, Roman Reigns is Leatherhead.

WINNER: Leatherhead

 

WWE Championship — AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura = Leonardo vs Usagi Yojimbo

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Both are leaders. Both wear lots of blue. and both are good guys. However, sometime Leonardo needs to be humbled a bit, and I think Usagi is the one to do it. And Shinsuke has that 

kinshasaaaaa kick!

WINNER: Usagi Yojimbo

 

Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle vs. Stephanie McMahon & Triple H = Renet Tilly &  Donatello vs Karai & Shredder

Images Copyright WWE and Viacom

I know Karai is Shredder’s daughter. I was going more for a “Evil Family in charge” idea. Ronda comes from another world and is mega powerful, just like Renet. Kurt Angle has been known for the 3 “I’s” Integrity. Intensity. And Intelligence. Donatello has always been a genius, and also being bald doesn’t hurt.

WINNERS: Renet Tilly & Donatello

Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn = Raphael & Casey Jones vs Ground Chuck & Dirtbag

Images Copyright WWE and Viacom

Casey and Raph haven’t always seen eye to eye. They’ve been on opposite ends of a fight a few times. Both are passionate and fiery. But they are friends. Raphael has had his stint in vigilante justice and is usually a nomination for fan favorite. Daniel Bryan will get a deafening cheer when he makes his return to the ring. And Shane is a Macmahon, but he never quite fit in with the rest of the family, much like Casey and his own family. Kevin and Sami are always together. Even on opposite ends of a fight, these two need to stay together forever. The body types even match up. Maybe the bull tattoo on Owens’ shoulder is a secret Ground Chuck homage?

WINNER: Raphael & Casey Jones

SmackDown Women’s Championship — Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Asuka = April O’Neil vs Chickara-Shisho

Charlotte has been the reigning queen of the WWE for some time. She puts on great matches and always performs. She’s a longtime fan favorite who helped the Women’s Revolution immensely. April O’Neil has helped the turtles so much and has been there since the beginning. Both have shown they have what it takes to put up a fight when they need to. Chickara isn’t a well-known villain. Appearing in the 2003 series, Chickara is mega violent and has a very short temper. In short… CHICKARA’S GONNA KIIIIIIIILLL YOOOOOU!

WINNER: Chickara-Shisho

 

John Cena vs Undertaker = Ace Duck vs Rat King

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John Cena and Ace Duck have a lot of similarities. Ace Duck is a star fighter pilot who will always fight for good. He’s a born fighter and a natural salesman, as he started in the action figure line in 1989. John Cena will never turn heel and will salute people for holding the door open. Although, I haven’t seen it. I can’t see him ever. And did you know that Ace Duck and John Cena have the same body type? I didn’t until now. The Rat King is an old school villain with multiple versions. He’s a character who has been around since Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in February 1988. Strangely enough, in the Rat King’s most recent incarnation, he wears a full black trench coat and hat. And there’s a good chance that if Undertaker comes out for Wrestlemania 34, it will be without his black trench coat and hat for the first time in years. Boo Biker Taker. Boo.

Winner: Rat King

Raw Women’s Championship — Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Nia Jax = Aloplex vs Venus De Milo

Images Copyright WWE and Viacom

Aloplex and Alexa Bliss are known for their trickery. Aloplex has turned on the turtles after they initially thought she fought for good. Alexa Bliss has shown she can’t be trusted for anything. WHY DO YOU TRUST HER, MICKIE JAMES?! And Nia Jax, I think, hasn’t gotten a shot yet. Venus De Milo was a disaster, but maybe she never got her shot. Venus and Nia aren’t like most girls, and I thin

 

k this is the time.

Winner: Venus De Milo

Intercontinental Championship — The Miz (c) vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor = Chris Bradford vs Metalhead vs Slash

 

The Miz and Chris Bradford are both Hollywood megastars. Strangely, both are also good at fighting. Seth Rollins has likes metal music and calls himself “The Architect,” while Metalhead is made of Metal and was built by an architect. Slash started as a small pet turtle, before he was mutated into a powerful being. Finn Balor is usually mild-mannered, until the demon comes out. This one is close, but I need to go with my old favorite.

WINNER: Slash

 

United States Championship — Randy Orton (c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev w/ Aiden English = Karai (Viper Mutation) vs Armageddon vs Tigerclaw vs Dogpound w/ Fishface

Yes, I know. I already used Karai. But Karai in Viper form is a different character! Randy Orton is the Viper and he’s not to be trusted. Karai isn’t to be trusted and mutates into a literal viper. Armaggon is tough and has a shiny outer suit that is just GLORIOUS. Jinder as Tigerclaw makes complete sense. He wasn’t in any incarnation of the Ninja Turtles before the 2012 series, and ended up as one of the main villains for the show. It came out of no where! Rusev is a total brute, just like Dogpound. And the addition of Fishface makes sense when you factor in Aiden English’s facial hair.

WINNER: It’s Dogpound Day!

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championship — The Usos (c) vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers = Fulci Twins vs Mighty Mutanimals vs  General Traag and Lieutenant Granitor

The Fulci twins are the only identical twins in the Ninja Turtles world. I like the Usos, but that’s all I needed. The New Day as the Mighty Mutanimals has to happen. Kofi is Mondo Gecko, since both are crazy and silly but crazy athletic (Mondo skateboards). Xavier Woods is Dr. Tyler Rockwell since they are both brilliant. Jagwar and Big E are both huge guys who could take you down in an instant. General Traag and Lieutenant Granitor (From the 1987 cartoon) could replace the Bludgeon Brothers as well. Both are destructive forces who could easily take out anything in their path. 

WINNER: Rock Soldiers

Raw Tag Team Championship — The Bar (c) vs. Braun Strowman & TBD = Bebop & Rocksteady vs Mutigen Man

Braun Strowman is a giant beast who proves he can do anything. Mutigen man is also a giant. He’s made up of a lot of parts and is kind of a freak of nature. So is Braun, but in a good way. We don’t know who is partner is. But we do know that Bebop and Rocksteady are the equal to The Bar. Because Sheamus was already Rocksteady in the 2016 film. Sorry Cesaro, you default to Bebop.

Winner: Mutigen Man

Have a good Wreslemania week everyone!

 

Think I got it wrong? Can you think of a place to put the Triceratons? Are you excited for Wrestlemania 34? Let us know in the comments!

The Author

Kyle Tobey

Kyle Tobey

Kyle is a freelance artist and professional weirdo living in Astoria, Queens with many animals and wife. He can discuss TMNT, pro wrestling, and animation in depth with minimal research. He once won a PAC-MAN competition. He plans on getting more tattoos.

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